


'50s-stuck Snapshot - The Highbloods

by umiyuki



Category: Homestuck
Genre: '50s-stuck, Alternate Universe, Gen, Greasestuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-20
Updated: 2011-03-20
Packaged: 2017-10-17 03:52:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/172618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/umiyuki/pseuds/umiyuki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A quick look at The Highbloods in their native environment - the garage.</p><p>If you aren't aware of the '50s/Greaser AU, look <a href="http://qeti.tumblr.com/post/3733369790/strut-as-a-gang-because-you-own-this-place">here</a> and be amazed.</p><p>This was originally posted on the homesmut kinkmeme, but doesn't have any pairings and is gen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	'50s-stuck Snapshot - The Highbloods

“I don’t get wwhat Fef’s deal is, man,” says Eridan, sticking a cigarette in his mouth. “Wwhy’s she wwanna hang around with a square like Sollux wwhen she could havve me?”

“cHiCkS, mOtHeRfUcKeR,” says Gamzee, admiring his miraculously perfect ‘do in the mirror. “i NeVeR fUcKiN gOt ThE dEaL wItH tHeM eItHeR.”

Eridan raises his lighter to his cigarette and glances over at Equius, who’s still bent over the engine of the car he’s been souping up. If he has any opinion on the matter of chicks, he’s not expressing it. “Anywway,” Eridan continues, “I figure screww her, if she’s so keen on bein with a nobody then wwho am I to tell her otherwwise, right?”

“You have no place telling her what to do to begin with,” says Equius, still not looking up from the car.

“Gog, wwould you can it, Equius, wwe all knoww you’re fuckin obsessed with the hierarchy, you don’t gotta point it out evvery fuckin twwo minutes.”

“I was merely stating a fact,” says Equius.

Eridan takes a long drag on his cigarette. “So noww I’m wwonderin wwhich of these lucky bitches I should go for next, since Fef’s got her head so far up her nook she thinks Sollux is cool.” He snorts a little at how stupid that is. “I figure there’s gotta be someone wwho’d be more appreciativve of havvin a cool guy like me around.”

“fOr SuRe, BrOtHeR,” says Gamzee, turning away from the mirror and revealing that he is, to Eridan’s surprise, actually listening. “i MeAn YoU’rE a PrEtTy CoOl MoThErFuCkEr, I tHiNk YoU’vE gOt A pReTtY gOoD sHoT aT fInDiNg YoUrSeLf SoMe SwEeT fLuShEd AcTiOn.”

“No kiddin, man,” says Eridan. “I’m like the coolest of the cool, any troll wwith half a brain wwould be grateful like crazy if I so much as asked em out, let alone fuckin em.” Someone crosses his mind and he grins. “Maybe I oughtta make a pass at that wwacky nerd chick wwho thinks she’s a cat, she seems pretty fuckin despera-” Eridan is cut off by a loud THUNK as a pipe wrench embeds itself two inches deep in the wall he’s leaning back against, the handle barely an inch from the side of his face. “WWHAT THE FUCK, MAN?!” he yells, so startled his voice is breaking, his cigarette falling from his mouth. A second later Equius is clutching the front of Eridan’s shirt, scowling down at him, broken teeth gritted.

“ _You will not touch her_ ,” he growls, his voice thick with barely-contained rage.

“Sh, shit, man, it wwas a fuckin joke!” says Eridan. It comes out as more of a plea than he’d intended, but if a guy twice your size who regularly pulls cars apart with his bare hands was two seconds from doing the same to you, you’d be pleading for your life too.

Equius’s scowl deepens, his eyes narrowing behind his cracked sunglasses. “I do not find such intentions toward my moirail amusing. You will not touch her.”

“WhOa, WhOa, CaLm ThE mOtHeRfUcK dOwN, tHeRe, StRoNg BrO,” says Gamzee, sounding more chilled out about this than he should be, putting his hands on Equius’s shoulders. “eRiDaN’s NoT gOnNa MeSs WiTh YoUr MoIrAiL, jUsT bE cOoL, mOtHeRfUcKeR.”

Equius doesn’t let go of Eridan, but his grip loosens a little as he looks over at Gamzee. “Is that an order?” he asks.

“yEs, BrOtHeR,” says Gamzee coolly, “i Am InDeEd BeInG aLl OrDeRiNg YoU nOt To TeAr OuR mOtHeRfUcKiN pAl HeRe In HaLf AnD tO cHiLl YoUr BaD sElF tHe FuCk OuT.”

Equius takes another moment to glare into Eridan’s eyes before complying. “As you wish, highb100d,” he says, the danger still clear in his voice. He lets go of Eridan and takes a step back. “I apologize for creating such an unseemly commotion,” he adds, reaching past Eridan to grab the wrench he’d thrown, pulling it out of the wall effortlessly. “Though I sh001d add that if I hear anything from Nepeta about you bothering her…”

“I got it, I got it, message receivved,” says Eridan, holding up his hands in a gesture of surrender, not wanting to provoke Equius further. He seems to be backing off, thanks to Gamzee’s interference, but Eridan isn’t going to take any chances while Equius is holding a huge metal wrench.

“Good,” says Equius. “Again, I apologize for my outburst, it was thoroughly inappropriate and I am duly ashamed of myself.”

“yEaH wElL i MoThErFuCkInG gUeSs So, BrOtHeR,” says Gamzee by way of agreement. “i’M nOt JuSt GoNnA lEt ThAt FlY, mAn, I’m LiKe GoNnA HaVe To Do SoMeThInG aBoUt YoUr FuCkIn AtTiTuDe.”

Equius is beginning to sweat. “Of course,” he says, “I really sh001d be properly punished.”

“Oh ToTaLlY,” says Gamzee, still sounding perfectly chill and not angry at all. “yOu NeEd To JuSt CoOl YoUr FuCkInG jEtS, bRo, LiKe, Go HaVe A tImE oUt AnD dO sOmE mOtHeRfUcKiNg SeLf-ReFlEcTiOn On ThIs.”

“Right away, highb100d,” says Equius, walking back to the car and setting the wrench down before going and sitting down in the far corner of the garage, looking contrite.

“Swweet Troll Jegus,” mutters Eridan, picking up his dropped cigarette with trembling fingers. “Wwhy do I hang out wwith you crazies anywway.”

“ThE mIrAcLe Of MoThErFuCkInG fRiEnDsHiP, mOtHeRfUcKeR,” says Gamzee, fondly regarding his gangmates.


End file.
